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    Trump’s Crazy New Excuse for Bruised Hands

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    President Trump would like you to know that those very visible bruises on his hands—you know, the ones he tries to cover with makeup—are totally normal and definitely not a sign of anything concerning.

    His excuse? He takes more aspirin than his doctors recommend, and that’s what’s causing them.

    WHAT’S GOING ON: In an interview with The Wall Street Journal published Thursday, the 79-year-old president addressed ongoing questions about his health by revealing he pops 325 mg of aspirin daily for “cardiac prevention”—but apparently takes even more than that recommended dose.

    “They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart,” Trump explained, saying the medication causes his bruising.

    His doctor confirmed the aspirin regimen but added that Trump also has “superficial chronic venous insufficiency,” which caused leg swelling earlier this year. Trump’s solution? He wore compression socks briefly but ditched them because “I didn’t like them.”

    THE DETAILS: The interview was clearly damage control. Trump has spent much of 2025 defending his health after being captured on video appearing to fall asleep in meetings (including a Cabinet meeting), undergoing a CT scan of his heart and abdomen in October, and sporting those bruises.

    His explanation for the sleeping? “I’ll just close. It’s very relaxing to me. Sometimes they’ll take a picture of me blinking, blinking, and they’ll catch me with the blink.” (SURE.)

    He also admitted he’s asked aides to limit his schedule—the same strategy Biden tried before dropping out of the 2024 race—and typically works 10 a.m. to 7 or 8 p.m. Exercise? “I just don’t like it. It’s boring.”

    OF COURSE: This is the same man whose campaign relentlessly attacked Biden’s age and fitness, calling him “Sleepy Joe” and questioning his mental acuity at every turn.

    Now, as the oldest person ever sworn in as president, Trump is getting a taste of his own medicine—except instead of acknowledging basic human limitations, he’s insisting “My health is perfect” while simultaneously revealing he ignores medical advice, refuses to exercise, and needs a lighter schedule.

    WHY IT MATTERS: Whether Trump’s health is actually declining is less important than the obvious double standard and the administration’s handling of it.

    The same press operation that demanded Biden’s medical records now wants you to believe their guy is basically superhuman despite visible evidence to the contrary.

    When the most powerful person on Earth is dismissing medical recommendations and explaining away obvious signs of aging with “I was just blinking,” that’s worth paying attention to.

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